Rabbi
The line between religion and business is oh so blurry! Perhaps this is only news to me. As I mentioned yesterday, today I went to meet a rabbi. Well.. I am gathering that just as with wedding dress shopping, you know your rabbi when you see him on you. hehe. I mean when you see him. And I did not see mine tonight. He was a nice man, but I must keep looking. This rabbi charges $500 to perform a wedding ceremony. From what I hear - this is standard fare. I find this funny. Funny because everyone hates lawyers, and lawyers can charge up to $500 per hour (well, this is an extreme case of course, but their fees can, on occasion rise to such a level). As it turns out, the rabbi charges a grand!!! for an hour worth of work. (A grand because a typical ceremony takes only about half an hour). I realize it's not the same, because unlike lawyers rabbis don't perform weddings every day for 10 hours a day, but still. This fee is exorbitant, is it not? I wonder if funerals come cheaper. It would seem that they should not, as they are typically longer and more work for the rabbi. And generally much less pleasant affairs. I am bumming myself out.
Anyway, this rabbi I met tonight was more of a singer than a rabbi. He showed us (my mom and I) and this other couple (not that my mom and I are a couple) who was there rabbi-shopping a video of him performing a ceremony. He was singing his heart out. It was so loud! There was nothing spiritual or personal about this ceremony. The guy was a good singer and he looked very dignified (as my mom kept saying to me afterwards). He was dressed like the Pope - in this white outfit with a white hat. I liked that. But otherwise, it was pretty much just a show, like a musical. Not like a wedding. At least not like I envision my wedding.
Of course, I am not of the persuasion that one should speak their mind when you are shopping around. I am more of a nod, smile, and then leave and say everything you're thinking to whoever you are with variety. And merely show your distaste by not hiring this person or not using their services (I don't want to talk about a Rabbi as just another wedding vendor, but it is unfortunately how this is coming out). But the other couple that was there was of a different persuasion. The girl, who was American, and clearly not used to such russified rabbi practices seemed mortified at what she saw. She said that they were looking for something "simpler", quiter, more spiritual, and more cultured!!! Imagine telling a rabbi that he is not cultured enough for you! That girl has some guts. That is EXACTLY what I was thinking, though, except I would have never been able to say it to the rabbi. Like I said above, he was a nice man and I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings. He also had a huge wide screen TV. And his wife wore pants. Is it only me who finds it weird?
Anyway, this rabbi I met tonight was more of a singer than a rabbi. He showed us (my mom and I) and this other couple (not that my mom and I are a couple) who was there rabbi-shopping a video of him performing a ceremony. He was singing his heart out. It was so loud! There was nothing spiritual or personal about this ceremony. The guy was a good singer and he looked very dignified (as my mom kept saying to me afterwards). He was dressed like the Pope - in this white outfit with a white hat. I liked that. But otherwise, it was pretty much just a show, like a musical. Not like a wedding. At least not like I envision my wedding.
Of course, I am not of the persuasion that one should speak their mind when you are shopping around. I am more of a nod, smile, and then leave and say everything you're thinking to whoever you are with variety. And merely show your distaste by not hiring this person or not using their services (I don't want to talk about a Rabbi as just another wedding vendor, but it is unfortunately how this is coming out). But the other couple that was there was of a different persuasion. The girl, who was American, and clearly not used to such russified rabbi practices seemed mortified at what she saw. She said that they were looking for something "simpler", quiter, more spiritual, and more cultured!!! Imagine telling a rabbi that he is not cultured enough for you! That girl has some guts. That is EXACTLY what I was thinking, though, except I would have never been able to say it to the rabbi. Like I said above, he was a nice man and I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings. He also had a huge wide screen TV. And his wife wore pants. Is it only me who finds it weird?
posted by SmallWonder at 7:37 PM
4 Comments:
He is a reform rabbi, that's why his wife wears pants, etc. I once went to a reform synagogue for Shabatt, and they had a chello, violins and other instruments that they played along with the prayer songs. I thought it was really weird. This makes me sad, cause it's probably hard to find a reform rabbi that would perform the kind of ceremony I want, and a conservative rabbi that would marry you to a non-Jew.
He is a reform rabbi, that's why his wife wears pants, etc. I once went to a reform synagogue for Shabatt, and they had a chello, violins and other instruments that they played along with the prayers. I thought it was really weird. This makes me sad, cause it's probably hard to find a reform rabbi that would perform the kind of ceremony I want, and a conservative rabbi that would marry you to a non-Jew.
hey.....just a quick question...Can you recommend a good, funny and entertaining rabbi? Seems like we have the same outlook on this Rabbi Wedding stuff..and I figured I'd ask you for any advice
wow, someone still reads my blog?? shocking! I can't really recommend a good rabbi, since the one i wound up going with wasn't anyone to write home about. The most memorable of my experience w/ him was that he said he'd give my husband a good glass to break, as a gift, and then on the day of our wedding he charged us $25 for that glass. The bastard. I think that sums up spirituality and religion for you :).
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