The human body will forever remain an enigma to me. Or maybe I should say my body. And by that, I do not mean to say that my body continues to amaze me. Or maybe I do. What I wonder, I suppose, is why is it that I am probably in 10 times better shape than some other women my age, and yet they are perfectly thin and have no fat on their bodies, whereas I will most likely always remain.. plump. (I'm looking for the word that's going to hurt my feelings the least here). Or.. why go as far as these fictitious women. Take Vadim for example. He probably can't even remember the last time he broke a sweat, and he is a walking skeleton. Whereas I break sweats constantly, and there are still like 39 places on me that one can very comfortably grab and hold on to. Also, why is it that sometimes running is like pure torture to me, and all I do is edge myself on, promising myself that soon it'll all be over. And other days (like today), it is almost effortless and I feel absolutely no pains or aches or fatigue, but feel like I could just keep on going for hours? I know that it probably depends on a variety of factors, like how much sleep I'm getting, what I'm eating, etc. But it's not like today was a good eating day. About an hour before I went running I finished off a piece of flourless chocolate cake that's been in our fridge for a while. (In fact, that very fact is what most likely propelled me to go to the gym in the first place). Or maybe it's the cake itself that put me in such a healthy state that I could run so well? Who knows..

At this point, I think that it is very likely that I won't be able to pass the bar exam. My feeling is that the whole thing is so overwhelming that I might as well not study at all, because studying IT ALL is humanely impossible, so why bother trying? Not a good attitude to have, I know. Then again, I feel ridiculous complaining about any of this considering what happened today..

I find it so annoying when Blair, Bush, and other, more local ones (like Mike Bloomberg) keep repeating the same phrases, about how people should continue to feel safe, go places, and feel secure. It's such a joke. I know that this is what they're all supposed to say at a time like this, but isn't a time like this precisely when what they're saying is laughable? Clearly there is absolutely no reason to feel secure.